Alan Sharland on bullying and conflict-coaching

Alan Sharland offered some advice to a fellow colleague workplace ADR Consultant/Coach. He recommened conflict-coaching as a method of dealing with the aggressive behavior we describe as bullying. Alan said, "Tamara, my view is that often the focus is on the person considered to be doing the bullying rather than support the person who feels bullied in finding different ways of supporting themselves in the situation. When the focus is on 'proving' there is bullying taking place this proves very difficult as it is not always clear what 'bullying' means. What is a bully? Meanwhile the person who feels bullied is left having to continue in their situation without support for them (an ongoing investigation into a boss/colleague for bullying is not the most comforting or effective form of support someone can have). This is one of the many reasons that conflict coaching has emerged. At CAOS we provide workplace conflict coaching as a confidential 1-to-1 support for both those considered to be 'bullies' and those who feel they are being bullied. I don't use the terms directly of 'bully' and 'victim' as often this is subjective, which is why it is very difficult to 'prove' it has taken place and thus the existence of the concept perpetuates, meaning the actual experiences of the person who feels bullied go unchanged and they go unsupported." Alan Sharland works out of the UK on Mediation, Conflict Coaching, Conflict Management Training + Consultancy, mainly in universities.